#121 - That time of the year again
Merry Christmas,have a great one ! xo
It really does sadden me from time to time, with the morbid thought that Christmas has lost all meaning. Christmas in the year 2009 has connotations no more than Christmas lights, materialistic pricey presents and rushing to West-fields to spend hundreds on toys, clothing, perfume and jewelry.
Following Christmas comes one of my favourite,
then again in ways hated days of all time.
New Years. Finally, you can let go of all the shit that's happened and move the fuck on to a new and fresh year. It's exciting, yet at the same time it manages to twist my insides. Burning me with sensations that quite possibly it's just another year to mess up. Sometimes letting go is hard, and a new year is just what you need to do it - which is what i'm hoping thats what '10 will be good for. Because honestly, i'm sick of this year. Really really am.
Anyway i'm out guys, catchup blog later.
Wishing you all the best times today,
go get drunk, get laid,
and get fucked >=D !
hahha, merry christmas.
PS I HATE PEOPLE
WHO WRITE XMAS.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I can never really make you, or anyone else happy.
I give up.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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#119- Dreams or Nightmares
So i've been having nightmares, each night a clue to the next. And every other night, a nightmare about a family member.
It deeply saddens me this is my perception on my family, a hurtful group out to get me.
Sigh, funny huh.
Blood is thicker than water,
i guess blood is thinning.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I'll do anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm sick of making up excuses of why i feel this way. I hate it so much, always full of doubt and negative thoughts. It really brings me down sometimes. Don't even know what i'm doing sometimes. Sometimes i just wanna run out of your lives like a drop of a dime. If you ponder why you love me sometimes, maybe you should just not.
Anyway, catchup with my life. Lily spent the last two days with me, it's nice to see an old friend. Although perhaps what saddens me is the fact that we've botch changed so much. For the hour that we spent on the balcony, i felt content with everything.
Free from the stress of daily hassles. I was free, and happy. Young and smiling. As the lights dissolved in the darkness, so did my heavy thoughts.
Anyway, i'm feeling so down right now. I just really.. hate everyone again.
But on a brighter note,
I seriously can't wait till Jeff&Ben come to sydney, i really love them both-
they give me endless amounts of laughter and happiness :)
12;08 am,ps amy, remember to smile,even if you don't mean it.xo
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Lily is my lover. forever
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Monday, December 21, 2009
Families are just enemies
who don't have enough guts
to hurt you
Girl, you need to pull yourself together- and smile a little. Don't let them get to you and bring you down, cause you know you deserve the world. Your beautiful- unique and understanding.
--
love you .
x
Cupcakes awlays cheer me up, i think i might need some soon.
The other night was the wrost night of my life, really - literally it was.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
be my escape
Thanks for caring,
and letting go.but i can only hope that goodbye was enough for all the memories;
and wish you for the best.
Smile cause i said so.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Saturday, December 19, 2009
the best girl in your life is about to walk out the door
Home, finally home and blogging
I just got home from my cousin Emily's birthday-
Something about family really saddens me, perhaps it's because the thought that familys are nothing more than a bunch of people binded together by the simple fact that they have to be. Blood relations- do they really mean anything? We have nothing more in common and similarities other than the same last names and facial features.
Families are the people you lean on when your friends aren't there.
Their meant to be the ones you turn to for trust and support, but that's not how i see my family.
Don't get me wrong, i love my immediate family- but that's about it.
Blood is thicker than water- but everyone else doesn't even exist.
I never smiled in the pictures, no matter how pretty or pink my dress was. I looked like i was going to cry. If i was even looking at the camera at all. Was never the flower girl, or the center of attention. Just another little girl in the crowd.
I hate my family, i hate the fact that i don't trust them.
I hate when they touch or make contact with me.
My absence of affection hurts me.
I'm feeling sad lol.
Today was a wasted day.
I thought it was going to be productive, but it really wasn't.
I havn't spent a day at home in the holidays- atleast i'm making the most of it.
fuck i'm emo, night world.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Friday, December 18, 2009
scratch me out, erase me
Only a few days left till christmas, hmph.
Then new years, yay a new start.
i'm cleaning my room, well attempting too anyway.
getting there ..
xo
3;09am
ps.
to jeff and ben, i love you
like brothers
i can't wait until you come
visit us
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
you make me feel so aliveeeeeee
So recently, i got in touch with a long lost friend Karol. It's been yearrrrs, fucking back in the ray truong days. I'm glad half my friends don't even bring that shit up, because it is pretty fucking embarrassing LOL ! I laugh thinking about him. Was a rough time then.
But shit's good now, especially since
i FOUND YOU KAROL. I FOUND YOU BITCH !
Your beautiful, hopefully we can catch up this holidays.
I forgot how much i miss you,
but now i remember,
and it's alot <3
love you babes,
here for you always
x
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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