I'm failing at putting the stud back in study.
Sigh sigh sigh, yearlies huh ? Pretty fucking shit. I have no notes in science, which makes me as angry as fuck. And my grades are as shit as fuck, fucking fuck fuck fuck. What the fuck, the past six months have been a major letdown on myself, and if i do shit in yearlies i think I'm gonna have to resort to self harm and a years worth of study and anti-socialness to make up for my epic fail.
Math is a killer. I'm going to die.
Study seems impossible with my need to escape reality, drop everything that need be done and just fucking sleep. Sleep sleep sleep, all i want to do is sleep and not wake up, zzz.
I got home from tutor about an hour ago, haha. Good to see everyone again, tutor once a week is a load off in comparison to 4;45 tutor to 6;something. The peope really light up my day, making dripping tap sounds to piss off teachers which are totally retarded- and i have no idea how they make them. Teasing teachers, teasing new kids. Making the smart guy do all the work etcetc. Brightens up my gloomy and shitty day.
I think i need to return to my old habits and go to library again, not like i study. But hey, still something right? Hmph, i don't know how i actually did so well last year. My focous has been totally off.. sigh. And i was happy last year too, this year has been a majour-fucking-downer. Depressing as shit. Sucks like shit. Shit is shit.
Jimmys birthday soon, i remember it. Sadly. Reminds me of old times, hmph. When we used to go late-night with everyone ahha- it was awkward last year but i gave him $20 anyways.
There was an accident up the road from my tutor, it seemed pretty serious-
cops , ambulances, flashing lights. I asked mum what happened and she said it could have had something to do with the brothel; i was like * silent. She kept explaining about last years accident with some killing-- then leading onto prostitutes, then she asked me if i knew what they were; accidentally said yes. Then she asked me how ==" gg. Hmphhhhh, that brothel. I miss jade, i wonder how she's doing. I cleary overheard some kid saying how a car crashed into a pole, but sure brothel it is.
Today was hot as fuck ! sweaty as fuck. Sweaty as a korean < lol. 7 Weeks, apparently we finish late because parents complained we finished too early last year. Get the fuck over it ! it's too hot to be at school, literally died. Die die die ! too hot to do shit. Anyway i'm wasting time, catch up soon.
goodluck hsc shitters (:
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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fuck this shit wankers,i'm going to sleep.hope and pray to god i don't fucking wake up too.--9;31pmx
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Monday, October 19, 2009
Remember when we lay peacefully on the grass,
gazing at the oceans of blue above us ?
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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edit.
i typed alot of things,
then i cried.
Now i'm going to sleep.
-- 9;02pm x
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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#32- Stuck between both worlds
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry.
my favourite fucking emo song.
Can't help but think i pulled apart the puzzle looking for my place, only to find i belonged to a different puzzle. Seems like the puzzle was already made, and i just greedily pulled the pieces apart.
I feel like I'm re digging a hole that has already been dug. Just dodgier, and a hella shit job in comparison. I feel like i should quit, and find the answer at the bottom of another bottle. Sometimes this bottle is strong of lies, making me queeeeeeeeezy.
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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Sunday, October 18, 2009
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 11-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are full of crap.
Tag 10 of your friends and find out whether or not they suffer paranoia.
I fear...
[ ] black people
[x] the dark
[] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
total so far: 4
[x] being touched
[ ] fire
[x] deep water >50m
[x] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad (i would be)
[x] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[x] rats
[ ] snow
total so far: 10
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[x] heaven
[x] being robbed/mugged
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[ ] large crowds of people
[x] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors
[ ] tornadoes
total so far: 17
[x] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[x] Friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[x] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[x] growing up
total so far: 26
[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles
[ ] blood
total = 29
-- 909amx
♥ handwritten by ›ameh-styles x
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